You never really get it as a kid. Occasionally someone other then your parents will impart you with wisdom and it will click, but most times you have to learn the hard way.

I never believed it. Well, I believed it. But I was so arrogant I thought I could play with fire and not get burnt. I thought I could flirt with the line and never cross it.

Experience is a wonderful teaching tool, however it is also a painful teaching tool. No matter how painful experience is though, it can provide you with the tools you need to avoid bigger mistakes later in life.

As I’ve realized though, experience is quite the catch 22. You’re left with a solid lesson learned, but most times you are also left with a mess of a situation to clean up. One that involves wounds that cut deep and memories that will never fade. It is true that some things can’t be unseen, and it is also true that some things can never be forgotten.

So how do you deal with that? How do you learn from those mistakes, live with those memories, and move on?

It isn’t easy, but to start with don’t fight your battles twice.

A lot of times we allow ourselves to self-destruct. We let things eat away at our minds and we lose the game before it even starts. We will have to confront those memories. We will have to deal with them at some point. Whether it is a relationship with a significant other, a relationship with a family member, or a friendship, those memories and experiences will rear their ugly heads in the form of insecurities, selfishness, and insensitivity.

Just don’t freak yourself out. Let it be and when the time comes deal with it openly, honestly and quickly.

Remember 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,  ^“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.”

Mistakes make us who we are, and while we will regret them and wish we could take them back we have to appreciate the type of person that they have made us. Therefore it is our responsibility to see through the mistakes that others have made and learn to take them as they are, and most importantly to love them for those things.

Ultimately however, we have to be willing to open ourselves up. We have to be confident enough in those mistakes and memories to say, “hey, this is who I am. Take it or leave  it.”

They will always be there. Whether you believe in God or not if you don’t learn how to forgive others and most importantly forgive yourself, then you will spend your life being resentful and bitter. Learn to love and to forgive, it might not seem worth it now, but trust me, sooner or later you will need to do both those things – the question is, will you be ready?