I first noticed it after joining the Marine Corps. It was an identity crisis, literally. Men and women all over the place finding their identities in what they did or said. I felt surrounded by false advertising.

“Who are you?” I would ask, but no one could answer that question.

There is a fine line between being confident in what you do and finding your identity in what you do. There is no doubt that we are defined by what we say and do. However, finding your identity in the what you do can be a dangerous path that leads to an unhealthy lifestyle.

Usually, the confident and the identifying can be separated by two things: the confident exhumes an attitude of near arrogance laced with passion and love, while the identifying attitude looks for validation and admiration. Confidence itself is arrogant in nature so that it doesn’t seek out the opinions of others but simply says, “I know what I do is cool, you don’t have to tell me”, while the identifying is so insecure in who they are that they seek out that validation and admiration in what other people think.

The reason my eyes were opened to this was that after enlisting in the Marines, I very quickly began to find my identity in being a Marine. It wasn’t the motto shirts I would wear or the bumper stickers, it wasn’t the pictures on Facebook either. It was my motives and my attitude toward others.

The identifying person, the one struggling to “discover” who they are, finds their validation in story telling and elaborate truths. Many times they are seen as someone who is hard working – but with the wrong intentions. They work hard seeking that validation but usually they never know when enough is enough. They never know when to shut up OR they never know when to open their mouth. They struggle with being confident in what they think and say because they are unsure of who they are and what they believe.

While the confident person can be equally as annoying as the identifying person, the confident person has resolved their identity and formulated it around their values and their beliefs, not the things they have said and done or the opinions of others.

As Christians, we find should find our identity in God. But reaffirming that identity and believing that identity is a constant struggle.

I allowed myself to be defined by the fact that I am a Marine, instead of allowing the fact that I am a Marine be defined by the fact that I am my own me – I am Jesse.

The difference in this is that one identity allowed for certain characteristics, while another insisted on others. My identity as a Marine demanded that I be hard, ruthless, and vulgar. However, my identity as Jesse was founded within my belief in God, as a child of God, made in his image.

Over the years I’ve changed, but my identity has always remained the same: I am a child of God.

We all struggle with identity, and usually more than once in our lives. And while some of the outward and visible signs of our identity will evolve and change, the foundation should always remain the same.