I stood silently in the corner of the room as Tiffany greeted Dallas Mayor, Mike Rawlings.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, I’m so sorry,” he said. “It’s just been a terrible summer.”

For law enforcement agencies in Dallas, the summer of 2016 was overwhelming, but despite the tragedy and heartache, communities have rallied behind their protectors in blue, remembering the six officers that were lost in less than 72 hours.

Although the losses have been felt throughout Dallas, the loss of Officer Mark McCullers struck the SMU community hard.

He is the first officer that SMU has lost in the line of duty.

As Mayor Rawlings greeted everyone in the room, I was taken back to a time last summer, in that very building when I was working an over time assignment with Mark for an event that Mayor Rawlings was also attending. That assignment was the first time I ever saw the Mayor in person, and although I knew he was someone important, I couldn’t recall who he was.

ps://jessedcarr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/1469736778-nm_28mem6.jpg”> SMU Police Chief Rick Shafer presents Tiffany McCullers with an American Flag. Photo Credit: Dallas Morning News

[/caption]“Who is that?” I asked Mark.

Mark gave me a look, smiled, and then asked me if I lived under a rock. His banter was gentle, but fierce, the typical sense of humor that you would expect from a Marine.

Every time I saw Mark, he challenged me. He challenged my work ethic, my attitude and my character. Instead of allowing me to complain, he would ask me what I was going to do to fix the problem.

There is nothing political about Mark’s death. The only real explanation for it is that it was his time to stand post in Heaven. Even though I know I should find peace in where he is, I still feel the void of his absence.

In the end, Mark got the memorial he deserved and would have wanted. It featured the three things most dear in his heart – faith, family and brotherhood.

arr.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/1469736785-nm_28mem17.jpg”> SMU Officers Ross and Vasquez stand post next to Mark’s portrait. Photo Credit: Dallas Morning News

[/caption]I’ve struggled to understand this loss. Some days, I anticipate that when I graduate from the police academy, Mark will be at the station, waiting to grill me on what I’ve learned. While it is easy to use his memory as motivation to succeed, it’s hard to keep moving forward, knowing that I will never again enjoy the conversations we once had and the jokes we shared.

I am pleased to inform you, Mark, that now I know exactly who Mayor Rawlings is and what he looks like, I even got to shake his hand.

It is truly and honor being a part of a community dedicated to ensuring your legacy, however, I would trade it all in for one more conversation, one more joke, or one more ride along.

As TAPS played it felt like I was part of a movie. I never imagined I would be there, in that moment or that situation. On a day that no one is ever prepared for, our thin blue line stood firm, wavering, but unbroken.

So as I hesitate and struggle to say good bye, I say this – to the officer, Marine and man that made our department better, our lives better and our university better, your impact will be forever missed, but your legacy will live on forevermore.

Semper Fidelis Marine, until Valhalla.