I watched as a silver sedan sped through the flashing red light. The driver either oblivious or careless about being required to stop. I put my patrol car in drive and off I went to stop the vehicle.

I got behind the vehicle and flipped on my red and blue emergency lights. The driver immediately pulled over to the side of the road. I flipped on my front white takedown lights, and as I pointed my spotlight through the middle of the car towards the rearview mirror I could see the driver put both of his hands in the air.

Like every traffic stop, I could feel my adrenaline slowly pulsing through my veins. In moments like those, it’s important to keep your mind focused on what is in front of you.

Dispatched keyed up, “be advised, we’re showing a region hit attached to the vehicle.” Police lingo for either this car or someone driving this car is wanted for a crime.

Videos of officers being shot or attacked on traffic stops flashed through my mind, gut wrenching audio of an officer being ambushed echoed in my ears. As a police officer, it’s hard to not always imagine the worst. Why? Because we want to be prepared for it when it happens.

But just like that I’m back, focused on the car in front of me, a dark and ominous object. I have no idea what awaits. For police, traffic stops are one of the most dangerous things we do.

As I approached the driver’s window I asked him to roll it down. He was an older black man, probably in his mid 40’s. Yet here I am, a 25 year old white kid. Two people thrown together in a moment, both suspicious of what the other is going to do.  As he reached to roll down the window I could see him shaking.

I quickly realized he wasn’t making a scene, he was genuinely scared.

This wasn’t the first time I encountered this, someone with skin color different from mine that was visibly terrified of the police. In that moment I knew I had a decision to make. Do I focus on what is right in front of me? The driver who ran the flashing red light? Or do I look at the bigger picture?

He handed me his license.

I addressed the driver by his first name and told him he could put his hands down on the steering wheel. I could see in the car, I could see what was right in front of me. I knew that the next most important thing to ensure my safety and the safety of the driver was to make the him feel safe. I was there to help, not to hurt.

I walked back to my car to check his license. He was clear, just a hard working man driving a rental car with someone else’s warrant attached.

And just like that he was gone, headed home after a long days work with a verbal warning. I don’t know if I made any difference at all, but it was a reminder that sometimes as police officers we set the tone for the future. My interaction with a citizen today could determine how that person treats a police officer three years from now.

I can’t ignore the issues surrounding race and police. I walk by someone that isn’t white and I wonder, “are they scared of me because of my badge, or my color? Maybe both?” I can see it in the eyes of some people, their disgust of my uniform and what I represent.

I know that as a university police officer I can’t solve the issues that my profession is accused of. I don’t have the answers for all of the officer involved shootings and whether or not they are justified. Like any profession, we have brothers and sisters who do not represent us as a whole. They are the minority, the exception to the standard.

But this is what I know, my duty first and foremost is to protect and serve. Sometimes that means letting the little things go so that I can make a difference for the future. As police, it never hurts to remember that in some moments, we are granted the power of forgiveness. After all, we are human too.