There is always that moment just after disappointment when you feel anger. You look incredulously in the direction of that person you feel owed you something and deep inside of yourself you scream.

WHY?! Do you not care?! You owe me.

They don’t hear you, presumably because they don’t care, or maybe they just don’t see you – so you blame them.

I deserve better. I’m worth more than that, man screw those people.

You start to resent them, seeding a dark and bitter feeling of anger towards their lack of sympathy or empathy towards you.

I’ve felt this way a lot recently. I’ve found myself questioning peoples intentions, more so now than any other time in my life I’ve been mentally tuned into the finite things happening around me.

The outcome is that I’ve realized disappointment creates deep, deep hurt that can quickly turn into bitter resentment.

An old friend once told me, “I don’t expect anything from you, because if I don’t expect anything I can’t be disappointed.” This was hurtful to hear at the time, but in hindsight I completely understand what this person means.

I’ve spent a lot of time expecting people to do things. In someways almost desperately hoping they will do something without me asking, as if it’s their responsibility to know exactly what it is I want or need.

In many cases, this expectation has created a lot of disappointment.

Why didn’t they just call? How could they not infer what I was saying? Do I really need to explain everything?

Tonight, I sat brooding over that disappointment, only to ask myself… I wonder how many times I’ve done that to other people?

It isn’t very often that I’m left speechless, especially not by self-reflection. But tonight I didn’t have an answer, all I had was the truth that I know, without a doubt, I have left many people on the other end of that disappointment.

Disappointment is unavoidable, but somewhere along the way we have to be willing to only disappoint others how we are willing to be disappointed ourselves. It’s cliche, but it really is as simple as do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

It’s a good reminder, more people rely and count on you than you know, don’t be the reason they fail. Everyone is a light.